So it’s been almost four weeks since we landed and I have found my voice both literally and figuratively. I say that I have literally found my voice because when I came back from Manila the only thing that came out of my mouth was a slight whisper. I know me……of all people …extroverted … exuberant…. Robyn Barron was speechless for almost a week and a half and the silence was much needed. It gave me an excuse to have more introverted time and process the “slum retreat” experience I had given my all to for three weeks. I think I left a part of me in Manila because even after 4 weeks of being home I still very much miss our friends who became like family to me. When I come that close to experiencing Jesus in the mist of poverty I retreat and “do business” with Jesus for several weeks before I can give an accurate account of the tensions I’m holding. Not to say that I’m done processing my time but I do think that I’m in much more of a place to give voice to some of the things on my heart.
The first week we came back we talked a lot about Manila and some of the highs and lows from our trip. We were asked the same question three different times (once in manila and the other two in oakland were b/c we had people join us that had not heard our highs and lows) “What was one high and one low from your trip”, and each time I answered it differently. It was fun to realize that I actually had a lot of highlights from my trip which was helpful for me to remember because being sick near the end of the trip put a damper on almost everything for me. If I stepped in one more piece of dog poop I was seriously going to flip. (which was funny when i laid in dog poop at a park in Oakland - boo...) I have already shared one highlight with you but another highlight for me was our next door neighbor Abbe who came to visit our house every night. Abbe would talk to us about almost anything and everything and she was one of the few friends I made that was over the age of 18 years old. Not that I didn’t love the kids but there is something about being in relationship with adults that brings joy to my heart. I feel like I can talk to them about deeper issues and feel like I had a real conversation. Abbe would make me laugh so hard I cried and she would always teach me the proper enunciation of Tagalog words I was trying to say. I loved our times with her and it made living in a foreign city a little less lonely. By the end of the trip we had moved our relationship past our night time chats to going to church together and sitting on the steps of the local ice cream place chatting away. It’s reasons like Abbe that I’m thankful for facebook even though I’m more of a “face to face” kind of gal I feel like facebook connects us even though we are in different countries.
There were many instances where people freely welcomed us into their community and made the love of Christ tangible in real and meaningful ways. I will forever be grateful to have shared a house with Ate Cora who gave so sacrificially to us whether is was her time with her family or just her energy. She is a woman after God’s own heart in my eyes and I’m grateful for the ways poured out her love for me and the rest of my team even though she barely knew us. I’m also grateful for the ways she protected me from the kids who would harass me about my weight or skin color. (Don’t mess with Ate Cora she may look nice but don’t mess with her peeps) When I got stick near the end of the trip it was Ate Cora who was checking my temperature in the middle of the night, and yelling at me to rest when I wanted to be stubborn. I haven’t fully digested this trip but what I do know is that there is something profound about the love of Christ that transcends continents and cultural barriers to make its self real and tangible.
There always more stories I can share but those where the ones on my heart……
From the subject you can probably guess how Oakland has been so far – we left for Manila only about two weeks after moving in and since I work full time I only had one weekend to unpack. This left me with a lot of unpacking to do when we got back and four weeks later I still have boxes of things that need to find a home. Slowly but surely I am finding a space for things in my room and I am winning this round of my rooms desire to move towards entropy. My health has returned and I am even finding a desire to write poetry again maybe even dabble into spoken word. I am not a strange face in my apartment complex anymore and my neighbors are starting to get the idea than I actually live there. Sometimes I think they might be thinking the same thing Abbe asked me “you have money to live in a nicer place so why would you choose to live here?” …..my response “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” I want to see God’s Kingdom come here in Oakland ….may it be so…so say we all…..
I’m becoming more and more aware that I’m “not in Kansas anymore” – I’ve never lived in Kansas but that’s the over all feeling I get when it gets dark. With people’s homes getting broken into, other friends getting hit by a hit and run, and a young kid getting shot multiple times literally right around the corner. Although i'm sure there are people in far more dangerous places than my neighborhood i do feel thankful in knowing that God goes "before me and behind me" and vaya con dios has a whole new meaning for me. The excitement is starting to ware off and I find myself praying prayers dealing with spiritual warfare in the mist of my everyday life. This is my home now and I’m grateful to be in community so that we can “encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of us may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness” so that we can choose to trust in God daily. Every Sunday we are visiting a different church and two Sundays ago we visited the River – it was good to be reminded from my friends how they are both sad for the loss of regularly being in community but grateful for the ways God is stirring my heart. It’s funny because in the moments when I’m tempted to believe that maybe I’ve made the wrong choice I’m reminded by both current and previous community peeps that here is where God wants me. I definately feel like i'm still trying to find a pace of life but so far so good....and there is a really cute kitten who lives next door to me (sorry fiesty). I’m definitely on the road to something…not sure yet what it is…but I’ll let you know when I get there.
A lot of people seem to ask this so Yes I’m still working at Stanford - 5am wake up call well ok I don't actually get out of the bed until 5:45am but it has been a recent reality that a lot of my neighbors wake up just as early as I do. When i walk to my car so do three other of my neighbors...so you know it's not so bad...i have company. I rode public transit to work on Tuesday and realized that most of the people on the bus were janitorial and kitchen workers. Not sure what God has in that for me but I look forward to my Tuesday morning bus rides to work and a releasing of privilege to drive to work even if it's just for one day...come visit me b/c I love having lunch with folks. I am very thankful for the love and support I have received to go on this journey with Jesus.
Stay tuned for more in Update #4 from your local makulit (naughty in Tagalog)
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